Meet the tech gizmo that raises pulses and redefines the meaning of reality as you know it.
RealEyes is a tech vision long in the making –
a breakthrough device that promises to redefine the
boundaries between virtual reality and the senses.
The ‘RealEyes’ device comes in both male and female versions, including built-in driving assistance. |
The devices name has been acronymed "RealEyes" – Regressive Exophoric Analysis Loop for Existential Yield Extrapolation
System (REAL-EYES) – and includes
the most avant-garde developments known to science within
the fields of nanotechnology, semiconductors, molecular
chemistry and electronics.
The majority of its sub-components have
been manufactured from ultra-carbonised graphene superimposed onto stacks of
high-density lithium-ion nano battery packs that power the RealEyes device for
over 14 days without recharging.
The RealEyes device is a virtual reality headset
that once mounted on a person’s face facilitates a plethora of options
digitally overlaid onto reality.
The RealEyes device packs 11 uber-sensitive independent sensors and sports 4 ultra-high resolution 4K cameras which its developers claim “exceed 20×20 clarity vision while being worn” with “built-in X-ray and infra-red technology enabling automated point-of-interest highlighting capabilities”.
The RealEyes device packs 11 uber-sensitive independent sensors and sports 4 ultra-high resolution 4K cameras which its developers claim “exceed 20×20 clarity vision while being worn” with “built-in X-ray and infra-red technology enabling automated point-of-interest highlighting capabilities”.
RealEyes Beta Version demonstrates the device’s "automated point-of-interest highlighting capabilities". |
Wearing RealEyes not only relays a crystal clear
representation of the real world, but in a revolutionary disruptive
eye-popping world first, fuses a blistering array of
sensors, cameras and nano-bots that measure all five human senses in HD quality – thereby generating an even more highly-defined version of reality than currently
available.
For audiophiles, RealEyes opens a portal into the audible underworld of everyday life. |
The five-star engineering syndicate comprised of Apple,
Panasonic, Raytheon, Intel and LG First has surmounted previously
insurmountable corporate barriers and conflicts of interest entanglements that
have scuppered previous cross-sector partnerships. Once created the iRealEyes
entity will have an estimated market valuation of $1.416 billion, the latest
unicorn to be born into today’s technology oasis.
According to iRealEyes Inc. founder Professor Lewis Carroll,
the entire project was steeped in secrecy to prevent leaks, “yet we still
succeeded in demolishing half a dozen encrypted Chinese walls to make this
product a reality”.
In an interview given to frenzied reporters clamouring for
more information about the RealEyes technology, she explained that the entire
mission was to ensure that its top engineers developed an affordable unit that
could be adopted en masse rather than hoarded for the private whims
of billionaire playboys.
Coming together as one: Apple, Panasonic, Raytheon, Intel and LG – the first tech syndicate to breach $1 billion prior to launch. |
“Each sense is accounted for in this
package,” exclaims RealEyes Chief of Product Research &
Development (R&D) Dr Winston Wysiwyg.
“Being able to collaborate with literally the corporate world’s top minds to design this superb product from the face up has been an incredible privilege,” he added.
“Being able to collaborate with literally the corporate world’s top minds to design this superb product from the face up has been an incredible privilege,” he added.
The RealEyes device has already passed through all the
necessary FDA regulatory guidelines that are typically provisioned
for medical devices within a mere 6 weeks despite requiring
invasive components such as subcutaneous sensor pads,
a nano spine clamp, a Wi-Fi-enabled graphene tongue stud and a nasal implant ceremoniously
dubbed the "Bogey" by early adopters.
RealEyes’ Bogey add-on is a must-have for serious reality lovers. |
Once implanted into the nasal cavity, the Bogey goes to work detecting odours and smells via hypersensitive nano-sensors that pluck molecular granules directly from the air.
The Bogey links directly to the Apple-powered RealEyes core CPU via Bluetooth and can sync with mobile phones to store smells for later whiffs. The product designers have earmarked customisable components as standard across the entire Bogey range of clips, strips and implants, so this will be one Bogey you’re encouraged to pick out for yourself, rather than leave as an afterthought.
The Bogey links directly to the Apple-powered RealEyes core CPU via Bluetooth and can sync with mobile phones to store smells for later whiffs. The product designers have earmarked customisable components as standard across the entire Bogey range of clips, strips and implants, so this will be one Bogey you’re encouraged to pick out for yourself, rather than leave as an afterthought.
“Pick whatever colour and size Bogey that you need. Our patented automatic size-augmentation technology allows all our Bogeys to adapt to the environment you’re in and remain snug in your nose despite vigorous activity including sneezing,” said iRealEyes Inc. spokesman Ms Shaniqua Ninnyhammer.
Fastened sitting and loosened moving
The engineering quintet has assembled a team of over 40 engineers, IT specialists and scientists, as part of a larger 400-strong separate entity – a newly formed company (iRealEyes Inc.) spun-off from Apple, Panasonic, Raytheon, Intel and LG First, run by veteran IT mogul Mr Winston Wysiwyg.
“The RealEyes device is not just a poor man’s virtual reality headset that simulates reality,” said Wysiwyg.
In a marketing offensive accompanying today’s announcement, Chief of Product Design & Testing at iRealEyes Inc. Dr Lawrence Angelo said, “having RealEyes mounted on your face projects a fully integrated and deeply interactive reality that’s amplified in all the right places".
In a marketing offensive accompanying today’s announcement, Chief of Product Design & Testing at iRealEyes Inc. Dr Lawrence Angelo said, “having RealEyes mounted on your face projects a fully integrated and deeply interactive reality that’s amplified in all the right places".
“With standard virtual reality headsets if you walk
more than 10 feet you’ll bump into something, knock something over or seriously hurt yourself. Moving, without seeing where you’re going, is just
asking for trouble. No matter what you do, your wife will probably be tearing
your head and your headset off,” said Angelo.
RealEyes operating in "Streetview" mode. |
Deep or meaningful?
According to iRealEyes, when RealEyes sensors come
into contact with human beings is where the device enters its twilight zone
territory and where its manufacturers admittedly see the most awe-inspiring
potential and commercial clout.
In a trademarked world first, RealEyes is able to predict what someone else could potentially think. Possessing RealEyes “allows the individual to see
the emotional state of other people, measure both their physical vital signs
and emotional mood,” the company announced.
iRealEyes Inc. international advertising campaign claiming to sharpen the senses without dulling wallets. Another world first. |
This is made possible by processing terabytes
of metadata collated in real-time from the target's social
media content and other available digital information. The
makers of RealEyes have insisted on keeping this capability a
close guarded secret despite sailing through Stage 3 final product
trials as part of the FDA’s Private Adjudication Panel (PAP).
In a criticism-deflecting statement, PAP spokesman Mr Hans
Andersen said, “as far as PAP is concerned this is one of the finest products
we’ve ever seen. We’re an objective panel and we have unanimously decided
to approve RealEyes for widespread public distribution as
a priority with immediate effect”. Mr Andersen then added, “I
already have one as a legacy device from the beta testing phase and I think
I’ll keep it."
"Reality is one thing, but with RealEyes it’s a whole new different
story,” he said.
The bugbear of bad news
Regardless of how much disruption or innovation digital
devices deploy, criticism isn’t far behind products that push barriers.
The world needs permit-stampers, killjoys and fear mongers
too.
“RealEyes is a danger to us all,” said Mr Jebediah
Bracegirdle, a civil rights campaigner for Unplugged, an online grass-roots activist movement advocating for privacy rights.
“Say goodbye to privacy if you’re seriously considering VR helmets linked to the information superhighway reading your innermost thoughts and bank account details,” said Bracegirdle.
“Say goodbye to privacy if you’re seriously considering VR helmets linked to the information superhighway reading your innermost thoughts and bank account details,” said Bracegirdle.
According to RealEyes engineers (but as yet not proved under
scientific conditions), one RealEyes premium feature available only for platinum subscribers is the ability to read the innermost
thoughts and emotions of other human beings.
Having relationship trouble? RealEyes can integrate itself into the fabric of any dysfunctional relationship, making it functional again. |
One clear point of debate already brewing on talk radio
shows and prime-time TV bulletins is the danger RealEyes poses for innocent
people caught in the crosshairs of criminals.
What if such technology is used to defraud rather than
develop society?
“There’s nothing to worry about, it’s just a VR headset and
it’s passed all the safety checks. It’s just clever tech as the manufacturers
say, rather than a tech cleaver cutting a sway through society,” said US
Presidential hopeful Donald Trump.
“Gimme a break; worst-case scenario, we’ll conjure up some
more regulatory pitfalls that undermine everybody over a 4 year period, or
until the problem goes away, or the media stops covering the story – either one
works,” said Trump.
With considerable privacy concerns raised by privacy
advocacy groups, but quickly dismissed by the tech
quintet, questions about the RealEyes device remain as the first
shipments are expected to hit store shelves early next year in time for Q1/Q2
2017.
iRealEyes Inc says that from the current prototypes
manufactured, the recommended retail price for RealEyes at launch will be
$1,042,016 per unit – although prices are expected to decline on the back of
falling commodity prices and the expected discovery of new, previously untapped
raw material hotspots globally.
[Part 2: Billion Dollar Syndicate Cobbles Ultra-Real Tech Device: The next generation of realism, first portrayed in dystopian science-fiction blockbusters has been conjured into reality.]